as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
