I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize