turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
