Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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