You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
