I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize