Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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