There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
