The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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