wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
