The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
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