I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
