He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
