im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
