I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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