I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
