Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
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