is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
