The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize