never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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