Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My vagina is officially offended.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
