Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
