Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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