I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
