In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
PANTIES FOUND
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