I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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