dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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