Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
