You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
