u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
