Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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