your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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