oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
wow bdsm is so cute
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize