dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
