he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
