Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
