addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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