hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
