i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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