What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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