I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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