My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
