im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
