i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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