I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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