did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize