I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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