I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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