I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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