the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
