note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
