I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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