You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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