nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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