What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
