Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
how drunk are you?
Several
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
